Everyone at the VMAs looked terrible. I don’t know if the stylists were on strike, but it was just… I give Nicki Minaj a pass, though. She can wear whatever she wants.

Taylor Swift performed her first single off her new album “Red” which is called “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Like, ever. This is possibly the most eye roll inducing title I have ever encountered. I like her song, but must every one of them sound like an entry from a high school girl’s diary?

The performance was intended to be a triumphant breakup anthem but it just came off as pathetic. Telling people you’re so over him (“him” could mean Jake Gyllenhaal this time) actually means the opposite. Singing about it is worse.

I loved Swift’s white suit on the red carpet. It was sexy, sophisticated and finally showed some maturity. Her outfit onstage however, was disappointing. It was neither princessy nor sparkly, but it didn’t look like a stage costume either. A striped boat neck and high-waisted shorts with Oxford flats don’t convince me that you’ve got your groove back after a bitter breakup. Why not a heel with her hair down? Ever since her summer of love with new boyfriend, Connor Kennedy in the Hamptons, something tells me she can’t shake off the preppy nautical theme.

The music video was not much of an improvement, either. There was no dancing but there were plenty of girly hand gestures. You’ll see what I mean. The kind you do when dancing in the bathroom but that wouldn’t necessarily qualify as a performance. She’s transitioning from cutesy to quirky, complete with her band dressed as animals and a Zooey Deschanel-esque apartment. I take it she’s been watching New Girl?

I am a proud Taylor Swift fan, but I wish she would have stepped it up at the VMAs. That’s the time to get wild and crazy, not play safe. I am really hoping that by the time “Red” is released, she’ll be ready to play.

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