I feel like we (Katy Perry, included) knew the halftime show would be a five out of 10. How do you follow up Beyoncé and a Destiny’s Child reunion? With two musical guests, a mechanical tiger, googley-eyed plush toys and a shark high on life.

I loved Perry’s entrance. I wish I could ride that tiger to class. I would ride it to my graduation ceremony if I could. It was spectacular. And when she did a duet with Lenny Kravitz? Amazing. I hope they release a version of “I Kissed a Girl” on iTunes tomorrow.

Unfortunately her performance sagged in the middle, with a boring costume change and a tiring army of plushies. You’re Katy Perry! The queen of kitsch and puns! You could’ve upped the ante and still kept it PG.

But then everything was okay again because Left Shark came on and started free styling his own s—t. It was all kinds of amazing. It’s moments like this that make me proud to be an American.

It was pretty obvious Missy Elliott was going to be a “surprise guest” since the news leaked before the show. That didn’t make it any less epic. I have missed her so much. She could have easily had her own halftime show without any dumb dancing toys. As soon as she came on Perry looked like a lost backup dancer tagging along.

The end bit on the shooting star was cute, though. The gown was her best costume by a mile and the fireworks were a nice touch.

Now, about that dead kid commercial. What was that about?

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