The Age of Adaline is Benjamin Button for Dumb People

I recently went out to the movies with my grandparents for the first time in almost 20 years. After years of begging my grandpa to go, my grandma finally convinced him with a statistic that watching movies can help prevent Alzheimer’s.

So my grandpa begrudgingly agreed to watch The Age of Adaline, Blake Lively’s first movie since Gossip Girl ended. She plays the title character who, after a freak accident, is frozen at the age of 29. There’s some unnecessary voiceover of pseudo-scientific sh-t that’s supposed to justify this phenomenon, but whatever. Basically, this movie is Benjamin Button for dumb people.

Eighty years later, Adaline is a librarian living alone in present day San Francisco. Every couple of years, she changes her name and moves somewhere else so people don’t get suspicious about her condition. Lively attempts to adopt an old time-y accent, but it’s so hard to believe her as a 100-year-old woman in a young body. I just feel like I’m watching Serena van der Woodsen in cute retro outfits.

Adaline then meets a hot guy named Ellis (played by Game of Thrones’ Michael Huisman) who just has to take her out after seeing her read braille in a foreign language at the library WHICH NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS. After a lot of hemming and hawing, they start dating and Adaline finds herself in danger of revealing her true identity. All is well and good until they visit Ellis’ parents for the weekend. There, Adaline realizes she used to date his father (Harrison Ford) in the 60’s. This is where the plot actually gets interesting, because she’s forced to confront her past and her future. And also because it's kind of cool and gross at the same time.

The stakes don’t seem that high because there is zero chemistry between Lively and Huisman. It doesn’t help that the love story is rushed to begin with. I felt like Lively showed more anguish over her dead dog than the possibility of losing Ellis. Ford, on the other hand, is on a whole other caliber. You can totally tell his character is broken up about the girl that got away despite his love for his wife.

I will say that the cinematography is gorgeous. As a Bay Area girl, I had a newfound appreciation for San Francisco and Sonoma. The costumes were beautiful, too. I think my favorite look was 60’s Adaline. That eyeliner!

My grandpa walked out of that theater a new man. He was raving about the film, completely smitten with Lively. Eh. She’s charming, but I still don’t think she can carry a movie.

Here she is at the premiere looking ready for her quinceañera.