My first thought when I saw the news was “They can’t be that bored.”

TMZ reported today that Gigi Hadid and her RESPECTFUL KING Zayn Malik are expecting their first child together. According to family sources she’s already 20 weeks along.

Hadid and Malik have been shacking up at her family’s farm in Pennsylvania. Two days ago she posted a Boomerang from her 25th birthday celebration. She’s wearing Mom jeans and she’s not even showing! What the f-ck!

The couple have been together on and off since 2015, and apparently got back together in December.

I’m stunned she wants to have a kid so young (full disclaimer: anything before 30 is young to me). It reminds me of that meme that getting married young is like leaving a party at 9pm. But maybe I shouldn’t be that surprised. She’s hot, she’s rich and she’s one of the world’s biggest supermodels. My armchair analysis is that when you’ve reached your professional peak so young, maybe you start seeking meaning elsewhere. I remember back in 2015 Kylie Jenner saying she just wanted to leave social media and live on a farm with her kids someday.

I feel bad for expecting parents right now. I don’t think most hospitals are letting family members or doulas in the delivery room as a safety precaution. Recently New York’s governor Cuomo announced that women could have their partners in the room, so I guess f-ck precautions, amirite?

As for baby name predictions, I’m guessing it’ll have Arabic or Urdu influences. Maybe Zara?

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